Nightmares
by DrawnToDarkness
Summary: There was a pattern to it. Jess/Becker.


_Dedicated to all of the lovely ladies of a certain group, who I hope know who they are, and especially Mijo54 and PrawnCrackers. Thank you for your friendship and support in 2013. You are all amazingly talented and truly brilliant. xxx_

* * *

There was a pattern to it, Becker was slow to realise. The morning after a particularly bad anomaly – like one where someone got hurt or worse, or there were multiple anomalies with incursions all at once – the break room would be filled with freshly made baked goods.

At first, he'd thought Lester had either bought them in or instructed the canteen staff to supply them in order to boost morale but when he discovered Lester looking just as puzzled over the latest offerings, Becker realised that that wasn't the case.

He watched his colleagues carefully, waiting for a clue as to who their mystery benefactor could be. Of course, he knew, he could just have Jess bring up the footage from the cameras but where was the fun in that? Besides, the latest incursion had taken out two of his men, his second-in-command included, so he was in need of a little light-hearted distraction as he waited for word on how long they'd be out of action.

The mystery baker wasn't any of his men. They all looked forward to his or her offerings far too much and would no doubt have admitted it if they were responsible for the taste treats free for the taking in the break room.

It wasn't Maude, Head Chef of the canteen, as he'd caught the woman sampling the chocolate and strawberry cream sponge with a frown on her face, muttering under her breath about a 'secret ingredient' she couldn't quite identify.

It wasn't Connor or Matt, both of whom helped themselves to large portions of the pork and apple savoury pie that had appeared as if by magic overnight, devouring their slices quickly almost as if afraid someone would tell them off for taking too much.

It wasn't Emily, either, who Becker had heard wondering aloud about the recipe for the herb and tomato bread she'd eaten with a tin of soup she'd brought in for lunch after another incursion a few weeks before. The Victorian Lady had taken a keen interest in baking ever since she'd noticed the first offering in the break room after arriving at the ARC and was frustrated that none of her attempts were as successful. (In fact, Becker had caught Matt trying to feed one of her overly done loaves of bread to the creatures in the menagerie once, but even they had turned their backs on the tooth-breaking bread.)

The mystery baker wasn't Abby, either, as she was vocal about her ineptitude where the kitchen as concerned and openly admitted that her culinary prowess stretched as far as toasted cheese sandwiches, but it was her reaction that afforded Becker with his first real clue. Instead of looking as thrilled as everyone else that their baked goods fairy had paid them another visit, Abby cast a concerned glance through the open door of the break room.

There was only one person the blond zoologist could see from her place at the table in the corner, and Becker knew that from personal experience. The chair she was sitting in was one he usually claimed if he ate with everyone else as it offered a unique vantage point from the break room into the room leading off from it.

Abby's seat, Becker knew, offered a clear and unobstructed view of the hub. More specifically, of the mass of computers at the heart of the hub: the ADD. And even more specifically than that, it gave its occupant a perfect view of the woman who operated the ADD, their Field Co-ordinator.

Jess.

The one person, Becker realised, who he'd never seen so much as react to the baked goods that kept appearing in the break room. Not even when it was chocolate cake or the lovely cookies with the gooey centres he was particularly fond of.

Deciding he needed more evidence before he acted on his hunch, Becker studied Abby closely as the woman got up from her seat when her lunch break ended and cut a small slice of pie and a small slice of cake. She put them on a plate she got down from the cupboard and started fixing herself a drink. He watched as unobtrusively as he could as Abby fixed herself a cup of coffee and also made a cup of tea – milk with one sugar, just the way a certain Field Co-ordinator liked it in the afternoon after having had her daily fix of caffeine in the morning.

To Becker's surprise, though, Abby didn't take the plate or tea out to the hub where Jess sat diligently at her desk. Instead, his teammate carried them carefully over to the table where he himself sat alone, going through reports as he savoured the slice of cake he'd claimed for his own.

"Try and get her to eat something, yeah?" Abby held his gaze, arching an eyebrow when he opened his mouth to profess his innocence and claim he had no idea who she was talking about. "And try to get her to leave on time."

Instructions issued, Abby left Becker to stare after her in shock. He looked down at the food on the plate in front of him and the cooling cup of tea and stood with a determined nod at himself.

He'd get to the bottom of the baker mystery, and find out just why Abby was so concerned about her former flatmate.

* * *

Every time the ADD made a sound, Jess jumped and prayed it wasn't an anomaly.

She was so exhausted that not even the four cups of coffee and bar of chocolate she'd been listlessly picking at throughout the morning had had any affect. She'd even caved and forced herself to drink one of the energy drinks Connor swore by but instead of having an invigorating affect, she'd been left feeling slightly sick.

She just had to get through the rest of the day, preferably with no alerts, and then she could go home and rest.

Just rest. She wasn't deluding herself into thinking sleep would come easily; it never did in the aftermath of a bad incursion.

She would torment herself relentlessly, replay the events of the day over and over in her mind, wondering if there was something she could have done differently, a piece of advice she could have administered a little bit sooner to stop those who'd gotten hurt from ending up in the medical bay.

The guilt she felt every time one of the team was injured was tremendous, and it wasn't something she was getting any better at learning to deal with, either.

Forcing herself to focus on the data scrolling on the screen in front of her, reports from yesterday she was trying to compile into one file ready for sending through to Lester for his approval before sending it on to the Minister and the Home Office, Jess was so distracted that she didn't sense the movement behind her, didn't realise she'd been joined at the ADD until something – someone – brushed against her shoulder.

Though she was partly successful in biting back the yelp that threatened to escape her, the noise she did make wasn't very dignified. Pressing a hand to her chest as if to try and calm her pounding heart, she turned in the big red chair to see who was responsible for shaving a few years off her life expectancy.

Becker stared back, his expression a curious combination of apologetic and concerned. Jess opened her mouth to admonish him but closed it again as he continued to study her, her cheeks flushing in response to the intensity of his gaze. She dropped her head and tried to turn her chair back to the computer screens, looking up when he shot a hand out the grab the armrest, making it impossible for her to turn away.

"What...?"

"It's you." His eyes narrowed, Becker leaned in and dropped his voice so their conversation couldn't be overheard – not that there was anyone around to overhear it. "You're the mystery baker. Did you actually get any sleep last night, Jess? You look terrible!"

"I do?" She knew she did, really, but it was a bit of mortifying to have someone else – particularly when that someone was _Becker_ – say so. A bit mortifying and mildly insulting. "Gee, thanks, Becker."

"You know what I mean." Ignoring the sarcasm and the thinly veiled hurt beneath it, Becker also ignored the hint as she tried to turn her chair away again and instead leaned further into her personal space. It was only then Jess noticed the cup and plate that had appeared on her work station. "Are you ill? Do you need to go to the medical bay?"

She almost laughed out loud at the question but kept herself from doing so at the blatant concern on his face. "I'm fine, Becker. Just tired."

"Because you were up all night baking?" He frowned at her, his confusion clear to see. "Not that it's not appreciated but you should've got some sleep instead."

She did laugh then, a little bit bitterly as she shook her head. "If I could have slept, I would. Instead, I baked. No big deal."

"No big deal? Have you seen yourself?" Becker's eyes narrowed. "How long have you not been sleeping?"

"Just last night." Jess shrugged; to her, it was no big deal. "It'll pass. It always does."

"_Always_ does?"

"Are you deliberately repeating the last thing I say?"

"What do you mean 'it always does'? This happens often?" Realisation dawned and he stared at her. "Every time there's something in the break room, it's there because you've not slept the night before?"

Jess didn't answer, choosing instead to stare at the offerings on the plate he'd brought her. She wasn't hungry, despite having not eaten anything but a chocolate bar all day, but thought she might as well have a little taste of the pie and cake she'd made; everyone else seemed to be enjoying it, anyway, so maybe –

"Are you even listening to me?" From the sound of Becker's exasperated tone, he already knew what the answer was.

"Sorry." She bit her lip, feeing her cheeks flush. "I faded out a little. What were you saying?"

Becker sighed but didn't repeat himself. He did something she wasn't expecting instead, taking hold of her arm and tugging her out of her chair. As his hand slid down her arm to wrap around her own, Jess was dimly aware of him barking out an order to someone – Abby, she thought, having a vague recollection of seeing her former flatmate hovering around the hub a few moments before – to tell Lester he was taking her home for the day.

Wait. What? Taking her -

"I'm not going home," Jess protested, trying futilely to stop the determined Captain. Her body weight was no match for his and her heels skidded uselessly on the floor, unable to find purchase, as he strode through the corridors of the ARC, all but dragging her along with him. "Becker!"

"You're going home and you're going to sleep," Becker told her, throwing a glance over his shoulder that she knew would've silenced even the toughest of his men.

She wasn't one of his soldiers, though, and when she got over the initial glee of realising it was _Becker_ holding her hand, she renewed her efforts at pulling herself free. "I won't sleep," she was sure of it, "please, Becker. I'd rather stay here till I'm finished my shift. There's no point in me going home any earlier because I'm not going to be able to sleep."

At first, she wasn't sure he'd heard her. He didn't reply to her and he certainly didn't slow down, not until they were enclosed in the lift and he'd pressed the button to close the doors and take them down to the underground car park. Only then did he turn to look at her, eyes dark and normally non-committal features furrowed in evident concern.

"You can't keep doing this. It's dangerous."

A surge of guilt welled up inside her and she ducked her head. "I know. I know I shouldn't come to work on no sleep but I've managed so far –"

"I meant dangerous for you, Jessica." He was in her personal space before she could blink, hand under her chin tilting her face up so she had no choice but to look at him. "What do you think would happen if you fell asleep when you were driving to or from the ARC? Not to mention how bad it is for your health generally speaking..."

"I'm fine. It'll last a couple of days and then I'll be fine. And if I'm too tired to drive, I take a taxi or ask Abby to give me a lift. Really, Becker. It's okay."

His jaw clenched. "It's not okay, Jess. And Abby should've mentioned something if she knew this was happening."

"Why? There's nothing anyone can do about it." Jess rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away, wrapping her arms around her middle. "I've tried talking sleeping pills. They either don't work or they do and I can't wake up when I want to. It's better this way. I can cope this way."

"You might be able to cope, Jess, but you shouldn't have to." His voice was as gentle as the hand that lingered by her cheek. "Have you tried talking about what it is that's keeping you awake? Nightmares, I'm assuming?"

"Talking about them won't make them go away, not when they're based on reality." She tried a smile for his sake. "I appreciate the concern but I'm okay. Really."

Becker stared at her in silence for a few moments before letting his hand drop from her face, only to retake her hand as the lift doors opened. "No, you're not. But you will be."

* * *

He ignored her protests as he ushered her to his truck.

Ignored her protests and then her exasperated silence as he drove them to her flat, glad he'd already been there once before when he'd helped Abby and Connor move their things out so didn't need to ask for directions. He had a feeling if he'd needed them, she would've given him directions back to the ARC instead.

When they reached her building, he pulled up in the available space usually reserved for her car. Jess got out before he could get to the other side and open her door for her, heading up the path towards the building. She glanced at him over her shoulder as if to check if he was following and rolled her eyes when she noticed he was.

Becker, again, ignored it, and followed her up to her flat in silence.

He was expecting to see some evidence of her baking spree when they entered the flat but was startled by how spotless her flat was. After looking around as Jess fussed unnecessarily with filling the kettle and putting it on to boil, Becker had come to the conclusion that she'd spent the rest of the night tidying up after making her masterpieces.

"Would you like tea or coffee?" As the kettle boiled, Jess busied herself with reaching for mugs and fidgeting with the tea and coffee pots. "I've got some cookies ready for baking in the freezer. It won't take long to – "

She trailed off as Becker moved to stand beside her, stilling her hands with his. "Go and sit down, Jess. I can make a cup of tea."

She left the kitchen with a muttered grumble but, watching her from the corner of his eye as he fixed their drinks, Becker noted she didn't sit down as he'd instructed. Instead, she unnecessarily straightened the throw on the back of the couch, did the same thing with the books on the already perfectly arranged bookshelf and then moved on to straightening the coasters on the coffee table.

Biting back a sigh, he carried the tea over to her and put it on the coffee table.

"Sit down, Jessica." He arched an eyebrow when she looked at him, holding her gaze until she sighed and reluctantly sat down, her hands clasped in her lap. "Sitting still for a few minutes won't kill you. It might even help you sleep."

Doing her best to avoid his gaze, Jess reached for the cup of tea instead. As she cradled it between her hands, Becker noticed they were trembling. "I don't want to sleep. Not yet."

"Because of yesterday?"

She nodded after a moment's hesitation and Becker sighed, contemplating her as he sipped his own tea.

The events of the day before were ones he didn't care to remember in great detail. The alpha team had already been at an anomaly site when the anomaly detector had gone off again. Jess had sent the beta team to deal with the second one and had recalled the alpha team once their anomaly had been locked and the beta team's anomaly had shown signs of an incursion.

The alpha team had made it at the site five minutes after a trio of raptors had come through, taking out two of the beta team, including Becker's second-in-command. The aftermath of the attack had been difficult enough for the team to deal with but Becker hadn't realised until he was sat there with Jess that she'd had to watch it happen, detaching herself from it as much as she could as she reported the events back to everyone who needed to know.

And that was just one incursion out of the many they had to deal with...

"Do you want to talk about it?" He wasn't one for talking about feelings and fears, usually, but he was willing to step out of his comfort zone if it would help Jess and was a little disappointed when she smiled at him but shook her head. "You can't keep doing this, Jess. It's not good for you."

"I know. But when the only alternative is to quit my job, I think I have to." She bit her lip and stared down at her tea, missing the flash of emotion that crossed over his face at the thought of her leaving the ARC. "Not that that would probably help much. I might not know the details but my imagination would be more than happy to fill in the blanks."

"Is that what happens when you try to sleep? Your imagination takes over and things don't end the way they really did?" He set his cup down and turned on the couch so he could face her. The expression on her face answered the question even as she hesitated. "Please, Jess. I can't help if I don't know what it is you're going through."

She took a sip of her tea, then set the cup down with a sigh, clasping her hands together again to keep them from trembling. "They usually start off the same. I'm watching one of the teams respond to an alert and everything's happening the way it did in reality and then... Then everything goes to hell and I'm watching dinosaurs and future predators tear you apart. All of you. And there's nothing I can do to stop it and when I try to move away from the ADD, the beetles come and Lester screams because there's more predators at the ARC and I can't wake up."

He hated the tears he could hear in her voice and see shimmering in her eyes. Hated the knowing what kind of fear she must've felt, hated knowing there was little he could really do to help her. Instead of murmuring nonsensical promises he had no way of keeping, Becker moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close.

For a moment, Jess tensed, surprised by the contact but she soon relaxed – melted – against him, tucking her head under his chin, her own arms snaking around him as she buried her face against his chest.

The tears she'd been trying to keep back fell freely but soundlessly. He held her tightly, peppering her hair with soft kisses. When her tears stopped, he began to stroke her back soothingly and continued to hold her until she'd composed herself enough to pull back.

Her eyes were red and swollen, her make-up smeared, and still Becker thought she looked beautiful. It was only when she blushed a vivid pink that he realised he'd spoken aloud and felt heat creep up his own neck to his cheeks.

After a moment of silence, Becker decided to push his embarrassment aside an do something he'd been meaning to do for a long time. When Jess glanced at him, cheeks still flushed, he lifted his hand to touch her face. Even though her eyes showed her surprised, she leaned into his palm, watching him with an expression that was both hopeful and wary.

Keeping his gaze on her, telling himself he'd back off the moment anything akin to discomfort crossed her face, Becker edged closer. He watched her eyes flutter shut and closed his own seconds before he let his lips brush against hers.

Their first kiss was as sweet as it was gentle. Against the backdrop of the nightmare their lives could somehow be, the kiss was almost innocent, something untarnished by the darkness they both knew existed in the world. He cradled her face in his hands as it came to a natural end, letting his forehead rest against hers as they shared a breath between them.

"I can't promise I'll be able to keep the nightmares away," he murmured some time later, loathe to break the silence between them but needing to say what was on his mind. "But if you'll let me, I'd like to be there for you afterwards."

Her eyes shimmered again but no more tears fell. She gave him a tremulous smile and closed the gap between them to kiss him again in a silent answer.

* * *

_End_  
_*sigh* If anyone has a Becker they don't need, please send him my way.  
Happy 2014 to all of you - here's hoping it's full of wishes coming true, happiness and health xx_


End file.
